A parent once described their child to me as a shaken bottle of Coke. They would spend all day trying to hold everything together, navigating lessons, friendships, sensory demands and expectations. Then they'd come home, and everything they'd been holding in would come out at once.
I've never forgotten that description.
Home is often where people feel safest. It's where they can stop pretending they're fine.
When your child is younger, you're right there in the middle of it. You pick up the pieces, help them regulate, remind them where their PE kit is and somehow know exactly when they've had a difficult day before they've even said a word.
Further and higher education can feel different. Your child is becoming more independent, making more of their own decisions and perhaps building a life away from home. But that doesn't mean they stop needing support – the role just changes.
You're no longer there for every deadline, every difficult morning or every forgotten piece of admin.
Yet you still care just as much, and you still want to help.
The challenge is knowing what that help looks like.
Behind the scenes, many students are juggling deadlines, finances, appointments, housing, part-time work and everything else that comes with uni life.
For neurodivergent students, managing all of these demands can require far more effort than other people realise.
What students tell us
Working closely with students gives us valuable insight into what studying independently can actually feel like.
And interestingly, studying itself is only part of the challenge.
When we ask students what matters most to them, the answers are remarkably consistent: better grades, less stress and feeling more on top of things.
It's when we explore what's getting in the way that common themes begin to emerge.
Students tell us they often struggle to stay focused, get started on tasks, manage their time, plan what to do and keep on top of deadlines. Many also describe feeling anxious or stressed about their work and finding self-motivation difficult.
Beyond studying itself, they say some of the hardest parts of student life are managing multiple classes and deadlines at once, knowing what's expected of them, looking after their mental health and taking care of themselves when life gets busy.
Understanding those challenges is often the first step towards finding support that genuinely helps.
The support they probably need most
Most students already know what they're supposed to be doing. The challenge is everything that sits behind actually doing it.
Getting started.
Remembering what needs doing and when.
Switching between competing demands.
Managing energy.
Balancing academic demands with everyday life.
Struggling with these things doesn't mean a student isn't trying. In many cases, they're working incredibly hard just to keep everything moving.
What many students need isn't a parent acting as their personal organiser, but someone who helps them recognise when extra support could make a difference.
Summer often provides the best opportunity to have these conversations, without the immediate pressure of deadlines hanging over them.
As your child starts thinking about next year, it might be worth asking:
What seems to energise you or drain your energy?
What support, tools or routines helped this year?
What support was missing?
What would make life easier next year?
Do you know what support is available?
Sometimes those conversations are all it takes to help a student recognise what's getting in the way and what support might help.
So what help is out there?
Many parents are surprised to learn how much support is available in higher education.
Depending on their circumstances, students may be eligible for support such as Disabled Students' Allowance (DSA), Non-Medical Helper (NMH) support, assistive technology, study skills support or help through their university's disability and wellbeing services.
Finding the right combination of support, tools and approaches can make a significant difference.
You don't need to become an expert in any of these, but knowing what's available and where to find it can make it much easier to help your student explore their options.
Setting them up for a stronger year ahead
You might not be packing PE kits anymore, or reminding them where they left their homework.
But you still know your child better than anyone.
Sometimes the most valuable thing a parent can offer isn't all the answers.
It's helping them recognise when they need support, knowing what's available, and reminding them they don't have to figure everything out alone.
The next academic year will bring new opportunities, new challenges and probably a few unexpected hurdles too.
Going into it with the right support in place can help students feel more confident, more prepared and better equipped for whatever comes next.